Week 16
View from the houseboats
Sam went for his 3-day solo backpacking trip last weekend – he did 15+ miles in 5-6 hours each day! Theo and I did two hikes but otherwise mostly lazed around the house. Theo now says “I want to watch Zootopia while mom naps” which is an accurate reflection of one of our days. My knees and hands are still recovering from last week’s fall – the bruising is impressive. Theo is very resistant to the idea of more change if we talk about him restarting preschool on Monday; he says he won’t go until “after the virus”. He (and) I hiked 63 miles in June (2-3 miles 5-7 days a week) so…he’s eaten a LOT of Rx bars and I’ve told a LOT of modified superhero stories and we are very proud of ourselves. This will be a pretty cool memory from the pandemic someday.
(Re)Learnings and observations
General wellbeing: I’ve been thinking about the “how are you” question and this week decided the right analogy is a marbled cake – some good, some hard, all existing at the same time in the same moment and usually not very good or bad (or at least not for very long).
About sharing information about wellbeing: Over the 3.5 months of sending these emails, I’ve debated what to share or how to share it. My major goal is to normalize that pandemics, parenting, grief and many other things impact our professional worlds and have to be navigated. I worry that the signal academia sends (in general) is that we must bear these silently and make the impacts invisible – which seems like a recipe for bad outcomes. I’ve really appreciated when mentors and colleagues share how they navigate these normal yet challenging parts of life. I hope that these letters do the same as opposed to creating any sense of obligation or emotional weight on you (and if I miss the mark, please tell me).
About anniversaries: Wednesday marked 5 years since I started at UCSF as a fellow. Things that are the same: living in our houseboat full of bikes and pets, learning from my Geri colleagues. Good different: Theo! Plus feeling a lot more confident in myself and my research, people attending to the impact of systemic racism. Sad different: Obama was president, parents were alive, the US wasn’t in a pandemic. To note the anniversary, my UCSF email accounts expired, and I lost access Wednesday morning before presenting at WIP. Luckily, I logged in early and was able get IT to fix it before WIP.
About working in a pandemic: A mentee forwarded a note that her new boss sent about working from home in a pandemic (and revolution). It’s a good reminder that even though it’s been 4 months, it’s reasonable to continue to focus on our own health (sleep, exercise, water, healthy eating, tele-therapy), try to stop our brains from comparing our productivity with that of others, and be kind to others (and ourselves). This was helpful to be reminded of when she sent it, and helpful to re-read when writing this. Any day (e.g. most work days) when I get a request to attend a meeting between 8am-2pm, I have to pause and really think is it worth the family disruption? When we do anything outside the usual schedule it seems to negatively impact us for days. I’m trying to do better at just accepting this and trying not to be defensive or wonder what we’re doing “wrong”. I’ve also worked after dinner/bedtime three nights this week and paid the price of poor sleep, so I need to stop that.
About stages in adjusting to WFH: Now that it’s official that at UCSF we will rarely gather in-person for work and not in groups greater than 10 for more than a year, I’m starting to wonder what to do with work clothes that I don’t want to wear at home (skirts, heels) or lipstick (masks don’t mix well).
Pandemic parenting: Here’s a recording of the childcare panel from 6/19/2020 for those who might be interested. The video link is up on Family Services website our website (MyAccess login required) and also directly here: https://lecture.ucsf.edu/ets/Play/abd31ee2fbf042f5a9fadc85329e2b351d
Actions I’m taking to support Black and other people of color
I tried to put thoughts into words, I made mistakes, I apologized, I learned.
I made a donation to the Equal Justice Initiative. Other potential donation targets for future weeks: Black Lives Matter, The Bail Project, the Movement for Black Lives
I read this article a friend shared with me about the complexities of who has standing to study what. With sufficiently generous funding and using team science and community-based participatory research approaches you can have studies that are designed and run and interpreted by people of diverse backgrounds and standing. But what do you do if you are just starting out or in a field where single-author studies are the norm?
I read this poem, which a mentor also sent me
I’m investigating this resource, which includes “A Beginner’s Curriculum on Critical Race Theory”. Don’t yet have a read on how useful or credible the overarching website is but it does link a lot of resources.
Gratitude & appreciation
There’s been a few more sunny mornings and they make a major difference in my mood
I managed a solo bike ride and a solo run and did some good thinking on both
Some of you know that writing & reading poetry was part of my life for a long time – through college, and as a result of my dad and stepmom’s passion for it – but less practiced since then. I’ve been trying to read poetry a bit more often and have had a few ideas for things to write recently, some of which I’ve managed to actually write down.
UCSF has in-house IT staff who answer the phone at 6:45 am!
Things I’m looking forward to
A little more space to think for consecutive minutes next week
Things we made
Sam made fresh bread today
Update on goals from last week
Code another 2 prion transcripts – nope, forgot I had 2 presentations this week and spent a lot of time on those – probably too much but I console myself that perhaps its good big-picture thinking
Update NHATS analysis plan or manuscript – spent a lot of time on this too
Goals for next week
Code 2 prion manuscripts
Create new table shells for prion manuscript
Find new target journal for paper after second desk reject
As in past weeks, I invite you to report in on your wellbeing, share 1-2 small goals you are hoping to work on next week (especially related to our collaborations, if we have one), and report in on your progress from last week's goals.
Thinking of you and hoping you and your loved ones stay healthy and safe.
Krista