Week 15
View from the houseboats
The usual mix of up and down over here. Theo hiked 9 miles over the weekend (5 miles Saturday with Sam, 4 miles Sunday with me); I got a lot of downtime on Saturday including a few hours reading a book alone on the deck in the sun; I got blindsided by grief on Father’s Day afternoon; Theo and I tired of tired of the usual hike by Wednesday (we’ve been doing it most days for over a month and the mornings have been foggy cold and windy here this week; I tried to go for a sunset post-dinner run Wednesday night in new shoes and fell and took quite a few layers of skin off my hand and knee, plus impressive bruises. I guess the world is telling me to slow down more. Sam’s headed out on a solo 3-day backpacking trip Friday as a belated Father’s Day present so I’m planning on a weekend of watching movies with Theo.
(Re)Learnings and observations
About grief: I’m trying to schedule in some “decompression” time in July to develop a list of potential strategies to honor and feel and release those feelings when the next wave of grief hits. Even if you’re not actively grieving family member(s), there are many things you might be grieving right now (including the ongoing failures of effective public health responses to the virus) – you may also want to find ways to make space to acknowledge and feel your feelings. Remember: it’s still a pandemic and a revolution (we hope) and we’re re-inventing “normal” daily.
About perception: I’ve been musing on how important it is – for both the pandemic and #BLM-related revolutions – to speak up for what you believe in because you contribute to the perceived status-quo. My neighbor has been posting information to Facebook about how to speak up at various town and county events - this makes it really easy to join in. My cousin was supposed to get married this weekend and posted pictures of a celebration with lots of people and no one wearing masks – this is problematic because it makes other people doubt themselves for wearing them – my mother is going to speak to my aunt about it. Another faculty member always speaks up for things like reparations and aggressive efforts to support racial and gender diversity among trainees, faculty, and staff – thus making it easier for other people to speak up in support. I aspire to be this kind of leader.
About that “re-inventing normal”: I never would have guessed I could spend every morning hiking or playing with my kid and only work in the afternoons for months and “get away with it”. As a trainee our schedules may be constrained or we might feel watched – and sometimes that’s true and sometimes we’re just judged on output/productivity. It’s a good time to think about what “shoulds” are not working for me and am I willing to pay the price (which might be smaller than I expected) for ignoring the should.
Actions to support Black and BIPOC people
I’m working with a colleague to partner with a UCSF organization that supports middle school and high school students who are Black, Latinx, or otherwise disadvantaged. My goal is to make this partnership easy and woven into the defaults of the Division (e.g. standard expectation that faculty & fellows give a lecture periodically, easy to hire HS interns, part of language of staff hires to partner with/mentor HS interns, etc).
The Water Dancer is amazing – Ta-Nehisi Coats’ prose lives up to the acclaim – can’t wait to get more books.
Gratitude & appreciation
I forgot how much I really liked Tulsi tea – this week I’ve been enjoying a hibiscus blend, but there are lots of different flavor blends and I find them to be well-balanced and easy to drink with anything.
Today has been sunny nearly all day but not too hot – much needed.
Years ago when I managed to take a huge fall off a bike when visiting my Dad in Florida and tore up my other knee, he sent me a first-aid kit with bacitracin, a scrub brush, and lots of bandaids and gauze. All of which we’ve been using patch up my knee after this fall. Nice to still have these kinds of things.
Things I’m looking forward to
Movies with Theo this weekend
Reinventing my home workspace in July
Things we made
Kombucha, yogurt, granola
New Lego animals
As in past weeks, I invite you to report in on your wellbeing, share 1-2 small goals you are hoping to work on next week (especially related to our collaborations, if we have one), and report in on your progress from last week's goals
Thinking of you and hoping you and your loved ones stay healthy and safe.
Krista