Week 11
View from the houseboats
First and foremost, I am outraged (and yet not surprised) by racism and its impacts in America right now. I don’t know what to say but silence doesn’t feel like an option. The murder of George Floyd and threatening of Christian Cooper (and scores of prior similar incidents within Black and African American communities) is heartbreaking and wrong. These are part of the broader pattern of the killing, violence, and inequitable impact of the pandemic on Black and African American people, Latinx and Hispanic communities, Natives living on tribal lands, incarcerated individuals, including refugees, migrants, and children detained at the border…the list goes on. I make a particular effort to follow and amplify the messages of BIPOC and women on twitter and Instagram (which means by and large the only white men I follow are Andy Slavitt and people I know personally). It’s just a small start, but I’ll keep working at it.
As far as our household, it’s been another up & down week. Interestingly had a few days of an uptick of grief over the weekend. During the week when the sleep isn’t good, everyone’s resilience goes down, tantrums go up, etc. The last two nights Theo went to sleep before 9 pm and slept past 6, so we are maybe making positive progress again?
(Re)Learnings and observations
I’ve made this observation before I think, but we again had the experience this week that when Sam and I stay inside our mental bubble of focusing on just our household we can remain in balance – but when we start hearing about what other people are doing (friends getting access to childcare again or what coworkers are accomplishing) it’s harder to keep emotional equilibrium.
Why things take extra long to get done in a pandemic: our mental load is so much higher.
Great post about recognizing “overwork” (endemic in academia) as the first step toward regaining balance. I suspect people without kids will be at risk of having overwork exacerbated during the pandemic, but I’m hoping at our house that the pandemic will (eventually) teach me how to bring things more into balance.
A reminder that often everyone in a household sacrifices for major academic deadlines, especially if you have kids. A mentor told me she used to celebrate every grant proposal submission with her family to thank them for their contributions.
I was reflecting this week that mentoring and parenting bear some resemblance. When you are a kid or a mentee, you don’t always understand or appreciate what your parent or mentor is doing for you or sacrificing for you. But when you become a parent or a mentor, you start to have some appreciation for what they did. There’s hopefully a much shorter time between being the recipient and being the donor with mentoring than with parenting, though. I don't thank my prior mentors nor my mom nearly enough for all they did, but I do my best to pass along what they taught and continue to teach me.
Gratitude & appreciation
It’s been really fun and gratifying to work with mentees on paper analysis, paper submissions, and revise and resubmits. My dad always said this too, but in the process of teaching you re-discover things you had previously learned and you re-teach yourself as much as you teach others.
A friend treated me to two virtual pilates class and it was both a delightful treat and good to work on my core strength.
I’ve been using the stroller hike technique more with Theo – he has been refusing to get out but at least it’s a way for me to get up in the hills in the sun.
My mother is currently playing virtual hide & seek with Theo so I can finish this email.
It’s nice to have some cooler day at the end of this week.
Things we made in our house (aka quarantine hobbies)
More yogurt, granola, sourdough, scones, kombucha (all over the long weekend)
Family haircuts! My usual salon’s stylists started giving lessons in self-hair cutting. It’s a bit more expensive than usual but I figured it was a good investment for the future (since it will be awhile before appointments are available), and then I immediately used my new skills on Sam and Theo.
Dream catchers with vines from the fence in our parking lot. Yep, probably cultural appropriation but I was desperate for anything that will help Theo sleep better.
Easter eggs … because we never used the kits we bought in April.
As in past weeks, I invite you to report in on your wellbeing, share 1-2 small goals you are hoping to work on next week (especially related to our collaborations, if we have one), and report in on your progress from last week's goals
Thinking of you and hoping you and your loved ones stay healthy and safe.
Krista