Week 6
View from…Boise, ID:
This is our second week in Boise. There have been good things (Theo and the dog running around the backyard and having fun with my in-laws) and hard things (continued 3h epic bedtime battles with Theo and ensuing associated fatigue). Whereas earlier in the week we were convinced this setting & setup is too stressful for Theo (and us) judging from the evening battles, we are feeling better today after spending time yesterday researching evidence-based parenting techniques for the situation and having some success implementing them (not in getting to sleep before 10:30, but less angst). Much like dog training, you have to adjust your own behavior to get the results you want in your trainee (dog or kid). As such, we are currently debating whether we will return Sunday or wait one more week (a little more backyard use and catching up on work, plus 20 days of isolation before relocating). My in-laws are being good about using curbside pickups and wearing masks and staying distant, unlike anyone else we've seen in Boise, so we still feel like we're minimizing exposure as best we can.
(Re)Learnings and observations
Stress and anxiety is not always visible or consciously experienced. In reading about kids reacting to the changes caused by the pandemic, sleeping issues are one example, as is enacting superhero stories (both very prominent in our family right now). Canker sores were another example, which manifested for me in the first week of the pandemic, even though I wasn't consciously feeling extraordinarily stressed. I've also heard many stories of kids or parents being extraordinarily clumsy, which is another sign.
Speaking of, it's important to be on the lookout for signs of unacknowledged grief and stress (anger and fatigue being classic signs). I was reminded of this when I read this great article on academic productivity in times of crisis (one of a series that I've enjoyed). She talks about it being one of our "professional responsibilities" to take stock of and address our own fears, so that we are not reacting to situations from this place of unacknowledged fear and emotion.
I'm glad over the last two years I found so many people willing to normalize my grief experience and encourage me to make space for honoring the grief and building resilience even when it meant re-prioritizing or re-organizing professional work. I think it's helped me tremendously while weathering the pandemic.
Since I'm not a clinician, I've decided my COVID service is supporting colleagues and mentees and their projects as best I can, which this week has meant spending more time than usual on service activities.
I finally invested in subscriptions to the SF Chronicle, Washington Post, and NYTimes (especially for their parenting section). We are now doing "parent time outs" instead of kid time-outs as a result, to better effect.
Gratitude & appreciation
I've gotten out on two bike rides with my spouse
We got a few pounds of pretty delicious coffee from a local roaster
I've continued to have great support from family and friends, even by text/whatsapp/email given limited alone time here in Boise (and sound carries and the foothills block cell/data signals, as I've discovered trying & failing to do trail runs & talk to people).
I'm grateful my UCSF Department of Medicine Grand Rounds are posted on YouTube weekly and that they are being as transparent as they are about the current situation, both about the science and the financial impact. I sincerely hope this economic depression facilitates innovation of business models in health care that work more effectively in modern society, as CEO Mark Larat expressed.
I'm grateful that some of the Grand Rounds (at least in prior weeks) highlighted academic women, and not just white women. I've been paying attention to who is being considered experts and authorities, and particularly appreciating when our leaders take the opportunity to combat racism and xenophobia by promoting experts who are Asian, Black and Latinx.
Whenever we do go home, I'm looking forward to be part of the floating home community again - check out this great SF Gate article on the experience of sheltering-on-boat.
As in past weeks, I invite you to report in on your wellbeing, share 1-2 small goals you are hoping to work on next week (especially related to our collaborations, if we have one), and report in on your progress from last week's goals.
Thinking of you and hoping you and your loved ones stay healthy and safe.
-Krista