Week 36
View from the houseboats
First and foremost, thank you so much to those of you who joined my job talk last week – it was really rather amazing to see. I lay on the floor of my office for 20 minutes afterwards (all available before getting Theo) and spent much of the weekend recovering. My brain seems to be toggling between riding the wave of productive big-picture thinking and being a puddle of confused mush.
The high tides of fall grief have receded – it feels like I can use the feelings to make better decisions rather than be swamped by them so frequently. This week I’ve been trying to catch up on work sidelined over the last month by the mix of PTO and prep for the talk, which has meant lots of meetings (some to get the work done, some to get work started, some just for the sake of catching up). In between I’ve tried to make progress on the multiple papers I’m leading or supporting. It’s Thursday night and even as an extrovert I’m exhausted.
I know the news about COVID spread is horrifying, and the vaccine news promising but normalcy still far-off, and I’ve been mostly able to ignore all of it. I found out on Tuesday that I was approved for the series change (hooray!) and am working now on submitting the packet for promotion, but it took our household until today to feel like we had the bandwidth to celebrate – we’re ordering take out dim sum for dinner (and if you have a fav rec between LH and Sausalito, let me know).
Gratitude/appreciation
The shocking number of people across the University (and beyond) who came to my talk
That the people in my life have an ethos of generosity
That the talk went as well as I could have hoped (was capable of) on that day
That my brother was available for (several) last minute edits and practice sessions
That I’ve developed a broad community of support so I could say “yes” to anyone who offered a chance to practice, and also pivot to lean on others when my spouse was burnt out from childcare
That the committee chair gave helpful feedback to turn last week’s talk into another talk I need to give
That I learn so much from every new paper, project, and collaborator
That my cat is snuggled up with me
That when Theo had a sudden flare up of bedtime resistance, we had bandwidth for new strategies
That Theo is in preschool this week and been asleep by 7:30/8 most nights
That the @biglittlefeelings Instagram account exists for solid parenting advice for little ones
That my spouse is an excellent cook and parent
That the Bay Area is pretty good at wearing masks
The Headspace meditation series on prioritization and on anxiety
That I rediscovered my scarfs and boots in the basement
That I have Thanksgiving recipes printed from last year’s small family Thanksgiving and I can make my favorite things and only have to negotiate with my spouse about possible deviations
That my spouse is going to prevent me from ordering the 20lb turkey or making the 4 pies we do not need for 2.5 humans
Things I’m looking forward to
Thanksgiving…& pie for breakfast
I welcome responses of any length, including phrases that report in on your wellbeing and small goal. It’s a complicated season for everyone missing family and/or tradition and/or seeing patients – I hope you are able to find space and time for quiet and feelings.