Week 32
View from the houseboats
I’m leaning hard on the “tides” analogy right now. There are times in most days I’m feeling great – efficient, centered, curious, resilient (call this low tide because it’s when our house is on mud and stable). And there are times in most days when I’m tired and crabby and insecure and anxious (our house is unbalanced at high tide). This grief season makes those high tides more like king tides – apt to cause flooding. I’m tired of it, but it will pass.
I continue to experience cognitive dissonance about the pandemic – the national/global condition so different than the local one. Sleep change is on a slow upward trend – Theo fights change so hard. A couple mornings I woke up before he did and was able to use that time for quiet journaling and meditation time which was lovely. A couple mornings did not have this level of chill (read a lot of understatement into that sentence).
Gratitude/appreciation
Sunny week
Chocolate chip oat cookies made between meetings
Empathetic mentors and work friends
Headspace app for meditation practice and for helping Theo fall asleep (a lot better than 9pm Raffi)
Friends that remind you that you don’t have to get a A+ in pandemic coping
(Re)Learnings and observations
Value of low bars and slow progress: I’m finding the 14-day writing challenge helpful – I’m only aiming to do 30 minutes towards one small part of a writing project, but it gets logged and mentally moved up the priority list. That accountability and self-competition seems to be a great mix for me – I’m really proud of the progress I’ve made on things I’ve procrastinated for a long time.
Removing distraction: Some update happened on my phone and made my UCSF Outlook and Teams apps stop functioning again (why does single sign on involve 3 different steps multiple times a day?) so I decided to use it as an excuse to delete them from my phone. It’s helping me check email less frequently. (I flirted with the idea of checking email only 2x/day but email is the only way I know what zoom meetings I’m supposed to be in.)
Efforts towards inclusive community: A colleague/mentor and I are going to try adding the following language to team or mentee check-ins. I’d be interested if any of you have been part of conversations like this and/or have ideas for how to word such inquiries. “We are trying to make our teams and Division a safe, equitable, and inclusive place. Do you have any thoughts or recommendations about what our Division can do to help or improve? What can I be doing to help or improve? What, if anything, makes you not want to speak up on our team / in our Division? If you’d be willing, please describe an example of (interactions, comments, etc.) that have made you feel uncomfortable, upset or unwelcome for any reason, in the last [month/year etc].”
Anti-oppression, anti-racism actions: Another meeting re: integrating CURE internship (HS pipeline program) into MSTAR program and using it to create PI/medical student/HS student mentoring groups; adding “standard website language and lab procedures re: DEI & inclusion” to next research faculty agenda; emailing with faculty about recommendations re: more inclusive language, reconsidering from “vulnerability” language; more donations, more reading of Tressie McMillian Cottom
Things I’m looking forward to
An overnight away from my house
As in past weeks, I invite you to report in on your wellbeing, share your small goals for next week, report in on your progress from last week's goals.
Thinking of you and hoping you and your loved ones stay healthy and safe.
Krista