Week 8
View from the houseboats
We are back on the Boat! We had a very easy drive back from Boise and first two days home. Theo had a low fever on Saturday (which seemed totally resolved Sunday) and was so docile and polite. Then, as predicted, the household had several emotionally stormy days. We're also getting conflicting information about when childcare can resume. Our daycare says we can't all come back until the 10-person group restriction is lifted (e.g. the end of SIP) and they will be prioritizing only those who need to be on-site to do their jobs starting in June. Apparently as faculty I can claim I'm "essential" now....but that's pretty debatable in my mind. It's really hard to make a decision from pragmatic, moral, and public health-minded perspectives. No great options.
(Re)Learnings and observations
Right now I don't want solutions about the work/childcare situation: I just want to be told that whatever I'm doing or not doing is acceptable right now. So for any of you feeling similarly: you're doing great, whatever you're doing. You don't have to do anything different. Radical acceptance.
It's ok not to be ok sometimes - sometimes I forget to check in on how I'm really feeling. Turns out I'm having an uptick of grief. Absent COVID, this week would have been the American Geriatrics Society meeting. I went two years ago with Theo in tow, and my dad came with me to Orlando to take care of Theo while I was in sessions. That was the last time I saw him in-person. Funny how grief makes its own "anniversaries". I've also been dreaming about various family members who died in the last two years. Totally normal, but one more set of emotions to incorporate into the corona-coaster of emotions.
In addition to the sadness, I've got a lot of background anger and frustration rolling around. This alternates with my delight being home. It's a good week to keep reminding myself that there is very little I HAVE to accomplish this week (and I'm fortunate that's true). Hopefully next week is more productive.
Showing up to meetings isn't always a good way to spend our time, as a wise colleague-friend reminded me this week. I usually feel like I need to take the vast majority of meetings sent my way. I'm now nearly-categorically declining any meetings that happen before 1:30 pm...and trying really hard to move towards a June without meetings every single afternoon of the week
I wish more people were talking about inventing the new corona-world rather than "returning to normal". For so many people and for so many reasons, life has changed forever. Returning to "normal" is for the absolutely most privileged.
Gratitude & appreciation
The Bay Area weather has been beautiful. I've gotten out on a kayak and a long walk with Theo this week.
I have control over the contents of my fridge and cabinets and meals again.
Colleagues & mentees submitted several papers in the last few weeks - I'm so impressed and thrilled they got this done during the pandemic. And even more grateful to have the papers off our mental radar for a month or three 🙂
Kahn Academy (online app) suddenly is capturing Theo's attention and it's FANTASTIC. At least his screen time is more educational and interactive.
Things we made in our house (aka quarantine hobbies)
Kombucha: I rescued my overly ripe homemade kombucha by bottling and adding turmeric, cardamon, powdered beets, and ginger, and I'm a big fan.
Scones: I made a batch because our local bakery was shut down from their location down the street which was apparently not licensed for retail. Takes 20 min from ingredients to cooked deliciousness. This is a version of the recipe I use, but I use 2/3 c sugar, a whole lemon of zest, and whatever "butter" and "milk" is in the house. Key notes: the better the butter, the better the flavor. Do not use a food processor to combine butter and flour, use your hands - turns out way more flaky and you have fewer things to wash.
Sourdough: We've been doing this for years. My best trick was learning how to make it myself, then convincing Sam to take over.
Yogurt: new attempt by Sam, inspired by his dad. First attempt was terrible but at least Sam's eating it himself.
Update on goals from last week
Continue experiment with thematically organizing week. Ha! Nice thought. Try again next week.
Code 3 pages each of a dPC and prion transcript simply for what I want to use for the first paper I want to write (part of re-thinking what IS the paper that is most interesting/important to me to write first). Success for Prion, but I did this on our drive back.
Re-invest in a broader array of self-care activities beyond simply exercise. I also journaled. And kakayed with Theo.
Small goals for next week
Continue experiment with thematically organizing week.
Review the data and draft manuscript for my NHATS paper, abandoned since February.
Read the article I just agreed to review for a journal.
Work on implementing the advice of this article about turning your kid into a productive co-worker
As in past weeks, I invite you to report in on your wellbeing, share 1-2 small goals you are hoping to work on next week (especially related to our collaborations, if we have one), and report in on your progress from last week's goals
Thinking of you and hoping you and your loved ones stay healthy and safe.
-Krista