Week 61
View from the houseboats
It’s been a grey, foggy, windy week here in the Bay Area (not all the time, but enough) and it’s both unseasonable and affecting my mood. We had a great weekend, but the whole family’s been low energy and tired this week.
We are dipping our toes into trying to figure out the ins and outs of the Bay Area real estate market. Not sure that it will be feasible for us to buy a place – or even find a bigger rental because of our pets – but we’re at least starting to do our homework. This alone is causing waves of frustration and feeling down, unsurprisingly, so we’re taking it a little at a time.
(Re)learnings and observations
Cognitive dissonance of the pandemic: The coronavirus devastation in India is pretty terrible, especially in contrast to the efforts to open up the US, including this week’s new CDC guidance. I tend to be more risk-adverse about the coronavirus (especially with Theo unlikely to be vaccinated until the fall at the soonest). We’re also still restricted in what we do or can do by the guidance from Theo’s daycare, which still says we’d have to keep Theo home for 2 weeks if I traveled domestically. I’m not ready to be unmasked indoors with other people (like at the grocery store) but I’m enjoying practicing not wearing masks outdoors, especially while exercising or around people on the dock.
Reflected grief: A colleague’s parent died from the virus in another country this week. Even though it’s been 2.5 years since my dad died, sending emails letting colleagues know (so that our bereaved colleague doesn’t receive requests for things) and receiving responses has been stirring up my own grief. Sharing because from the inside it feels ridiculous, but using a compassionate outsider hat it seems supremely normal. Moreover, it just is.
Evolving: I’m continuing to think about how to evolve these letters over time. I spoke with Dr. Urmimala Sakar about how her blog developed, and she said it thematically focuses on collaboration, productivity, and resilience because those tend to be inroads to talking about professional belonging, especially with people who come from minoritized/excluded populations. More importantly, they are things that others might want to refer back to. Starting in the next week or two, I will likely start playing with the format of this letter. On the website, it might be two posts: a personal update with gratitude, things I’m reading, and accountability goals, and a second piece that is thematically centered, perhaps using parts of prior letters that center around a theme. My instinct is that my themes circle around work-life integration, academic parenting, grief, productivity. Please let me know if there are other topics/themes that you particularly appreciate.
Anti-racism work: Here are some resources I learned about or were reminded of in part 1 of the UCSF DEI Champion training last week:
UCSF students can report aggression here: tiny.ucsf.edu/safe
Reminders of the responsibility of unearned privilege: using it to create safe and inclusive spaces, be humble, mentor others (without trying to be a “savior”), promote/amplify the voices of people from minoritized /underrepresented / excluded populations
Methods for recruiting/supporting a pipeline of students with diverse experiences:
Gratitude & appreciation
Mentees with Presidential Posters at the American Geriatrics Society meeting this week!
Colleagues who continue to be willing to engage in discussions about how to support our colleagues and trainees who are having a hard time, and how to create better systems of support.
Thanks to my mother, Sam and I were able to both get a date bike ride on Saturday morning and a date night for dinner!
Finally bought the @BigLittleFeelings course for myself (now I just have to watch it)
Sam and I stayed super calm when Theo decided to melt down about wanting milk instead of going to sleep for an entire hour one night (I just repeated back to him, “I hear that you want milk”).
I re-used that same technique of repeating back to Theo what he was saying during a meltdown another night and it helped.
Theo and I are going to leave work/school early and go meet a friend and her son for dinner & playground. Theo is so excited to meet a new friend.
Things to read or listen to
Hillary Clinton’s podcast with Isabel Wilkerson, Reshma Saujani & Malcolm Kenyatta
The podcast version of my essay in Health Affairs
I hope you and your loved ones are safe and healthy. Thinking of those of you particularly impacted by the violence in the Middle East, and those of you celebrating Eid.
Krista